NEW YORK, NY.- During his first-ever Broadway curtain call, a teary Jaquel Spivey was overcome with emotion as he and his castmates received a standing ovation. There had been times when the young star of A Strange Loop wasnt sure he had what it took to play the demanding part. But there he was on the evening of April 14, finally taking his first Broadway bow after a tryout run in Washington, D.C., months of rehearsals and a series of COVID-19-related delays that postponed the start of preview performances by a week.
Reflecting on his performance the next morning, he said, he had an epiphany during one of the last songs. It almost felt like my moment of realization that Im worthy to perform for a Broadway audience, he said. It just hit me like a ton of bricks: I deserve to be an actor I deserve to be a leading actor. I deserve to be here.
When Spivey graduated in May from Point Park University, in Pittsburgh, little did he know that his first professional acting role would be in such a high-profile, Pulitzer Prize-winning work.
Now, at 23, Spivey is making his Broadway debut in Michael R. Jacksons brutally frank, searingly funny musical, scheduled to open Tuesday at the Lyceum Theater. He portrays Usher, who wants to show what / Its like to live up here / And travel the world in a / Fat, Black queer body. Its a role that requires him to remain onstage during a picaresque 100-minute trip through his characters thoughts and fantasies.
The young actor, who majored in musical-theater, learned he had gotten the part in July, during a video call with Jackson and Stephen Brackett, the shows director. Brackett, who had directed the off-Broadway premiere, at Playwrights Horizons in 2019, was about to stage a fall production at Woolly Mammoth Theater in Washington. (According to a publicist for the show, Larry Owens, who played Usher in New York, had decided to pursue screen opportunities.)
The Washington production was advertised as being headed to Broadway. Theater history is littered with empty promises, but no one was surprised when this one actually came true.
I first chatted with Spivey in November, after what he described as his first full run, no-stopping of the show in D.C. Prior to today, it was really me questioning, Can I handle it? he said. Because its a monster of a role its a monster of a show.
So, how did he handle it? Over the following months, he discussed his doubts, hopes and joys in a series of phone and Zoom calls. The last one was on April 15, just after the first Broadway preview. Here are edited excerpts from our conversations.
How It All Started
Im originally from little old Raleigh, North Carolina. There wasnt too much theater so I found it through musical movies, like Dreamgirls and Annie.
Some family foolishness happened, and I had to move to New Jersey. Singing was my thing, in church and everything, and I loved watching theater on YouTube, but there was really no access a single mom whos trying to take care of a family cant get to voice lessons, cant get to the acting class. My aunt, who I ended up living with, put me into some classes my junior year of high school in Montclair, New Jersey. People were like, You should really look into this as a major. And I was like, People go to college for this?
I got to play Louis in Sunday in the Park With George in college. I felt good about getting it because I never saw myself as being one to do a [Stephen] Sondheim show. It was one of those first moments where it was, In my overweight Black body, I can still create and play whatever.
[Looking for post-college roles, Spivey felt he had limited options.]
The typical audition would be the genie in Aladdin, but its like, Well, I cant do a cartwheel and I dont want to shave my head, so maybe lets find something else. [Laughs] So it was a big fear.
Pressure on Myself
The first time we spoke, Spivey had just completed the first full run-through of the show before the fall production at Woolly Mammoth Theater.
By the time we got to the end of the first number in our first stumble-through, I was like, Five, five, please, give us five! Ive put the pressure on myself as an overweight person in a leading role in a musical to not allow my voice or my physical stamina to hinder my performance or anyone elses. There are things that I have to do physically to make sure that I can deliver the songs without being out of breath, that I can get through a performance with a smile rather than say, Oh, God, please.
There is this component of Ushers sexuality versus his upbringing in a religious Black family that I very much relate to. I come from a family of reverends and pastors, and then here comes my little gay self. Usher is a mamas boy who has a very triggering and traumatizing relationship with his mother, and that was spot-on me. But while there are a lot of similarities between Jaquel Spivey and Usher, I want to make it clear that were not the same.
Taking the Journey With Usher
The day after the first preview in Washington, Spivey reflected on the experience of performing before an audience.
Toward the end of the show, after Ive gone through hell and back, theres this line that pretty much says All these people pointing to the audience they want to know when they can go home, and we do too. I always thought of it as, you told these people this horrific story with some funny moments, and they want to leave and they want to take this show with them but not carry the difficult. And they laughed, and it just brought this little lightbulb in my head of There are still people who dont understand this lifestyle or this way of living as an overweight, queer Black man, and how the things that you deem funny are the things that break our hearts.
One thing that really stood out was that I really understood how much power I had over this audience. Its one thing for the audience to take the journey with you and another to listen to people moan and groan and sigh and go, Oh, no and Damn! They took the journey with my Usher in my good moments and in my bad moments.
My voice was very tired yesterday. Weve been singing every day, Ushers notes are very high. I spent the day trying to rescue it but still rehearse. But as soon as we got onstage and I could hear the people behind me, I am going to say it was God mixed with adrenaline mixed with the love of the people in the room, but the notes soared out and the choreography I dont think weve ever danced that hard. Im hoping that we get audiences that keep giving us that kind of energy.
They Want More
The show announced an extension of its Washington production, and Spivey was beginning to sound like a theater veteran.
Theres something so human and so real about this show that it takes off the pressure to be perfect the point is, hes not perfect. Thats really been a big epiphany: I dont have to be as perfect as were taught to be in musical-theater school. If my voice is tired that day, Ushers voice is tired.
Certain scenes require me to sing out of anger, out of pain, out of anxiety, and its hard to sing those things with people around me. Like, Im violated on a twin bed and its hard to think of vocal technique because I have an actor on top of me.
Opening night of this show was the first time that my mother has seen me perform, ever. For her to see me do the things Im doing onstage, but also to see others react to what Im doing I think was very new for her. We still havent discussed how she feels about the show. Im sure, in due time, we will.
I found that pineapple juice is better than water to carry me through the performance, just to keep the phlegm out from crying but also to keep the stamina to get me from one scene to the next. So weve kind of pushed water out of the equation and brought in pineapple juice.
Weve always seen the skinny pretty ingenue and the buff, tall leading man with the baritone voice. Its rare that weve seen this fat Black guy who is not what you expect from a Black person or a Black man onstage. Its like, Who are you? What are you? I think Im rooting for you because I want you to win. But also, you have to prove yourself to me.
Broadway Beckons
After learning that A Strange Loop was going to Broadway, we talked about the significance of the announcement.
I was in a good amount of shock, but Im also actively choosing not to put on the added pressure of Broadway because I feel that we can tell stories anywhere I told stories in North Carolina, I told stories in school in Pittsburgh, I told stories in D.C.
I had those cousins that I havent spoken to in years randomly reach out, especially with the move: Hey, cuz, I always knew you were going to make it, were proud of you. And its like, I havent spoken to you in seven years how did you find me?
[The production was] telling me about the salary on the phone and they were like, How does that sound to you? And I was like, If Im being honest, before I got this role, I was living in Pittsburgh, unemployed, applying for rent relief because I owed rent from when I lost my job during the pandemic. So Im not picky, I just need enough money to live in New York and have groceries and buy clothes and body wash.
Dont Touch a Damn Thing
Spivey shared what it was like to settle in at the Lyceum Theater in Manhattan.
I went into every dressing room, and when I came to No. 6, I just took a deep sigh of relief. I was like, Theres something special about this room, and Im just very comfortable in it.
One of the main things Ive learned [on Broadway] is as the actor you dont touch a damn thing on that stage thats not your prop [because of union rules]. So if theres maybe a chair that was pushed off its mark, we cant move that chair. Being a nice person, Im like, Oh, the chair fell over, let me pick it up. But here, you just dont do it.
Im still looking for an apartment. The most difficult part is finding time to go and make sure it looks like the pictures and if there is a roommate that the roommate is not crazy and not weird. For right now, a roommate is the easiest option. I think just to get my own spot and start from square one would be too much.
As far as personal life goes, Im the same Jaquel: Ill go home and watch Braxton Family Values, wake up in the morning and listen to gospel music.
Im curious to actually have a conversation with my mother about the show, because we havent had one. I want to give her space to be like, Its OK to breathe and know that this show is a lot and you had to see your youngest child do it. Its going to take some processing for her it takes processing for me, and I do it every night. Im sure Im going to end up inviting her, but Im also in a place where the stakes are just a little bit higher. And again, I dont want to overwhelm her.
Im a little more closed off than I used to be because I dont want to build relationships on the fact that Im in a Broadway show. I dont want to go on a date with a guy who wants to date me because hes a fan of the show and hes a fan of Broadway. So Im very cautious these days.
I dont want to take on the pressures of the LGBTQIA+ community, plus-size community, the queer religious community. I just think it would be unfair of me to put that on myself. So Im just trying to tell a story and make some change in this world. And then go home and eat a snack.
Just Kind of Broke Down
One last call: Spivey was feeling validated the day after the first Broadway preview, which had been delayed after cast members tested positive for the coronavirus.
I had done Memory Song, which is the second-to-last song of the show. Only once before, in D.C., had the audience applauded at the end Stephen directed the show so we dont wait for the applause and move to the next scene, to the next song, to the next moment. But last night, the audience roared, and I could just feel the stage vibrating from their clapping and their hollering. Its such an emotional song to get through, and I just kind of broke down a little bit afterward and had to pull myself together while I was facing away from the audience. Because it was like, People are listening to what I have to say.
This article originally appeared in
The New York Times.