Time passes, it is inevitable. But when we become parents, we often have the feeling that it passes even more quickly and it is not uncommon to be nostalgic for the first months and first years of our children, even though we are in the process of live… Watching your child grow “too fast” is difficult for many parents. But how to explain it? And above all, how to live more peacefully during this period? at this situation
mom blog help you.
Separation, a necessary and difficult step
Parenthood is made up of many stages of separation and distancing, from an early age, to which each individual reacts differently, explains Pascal Anger, psychoanalyst and psychotherapist. All the stages of a child's life can be associated with the end of something: walking is the end of crawling, a child who sleeps in his room will no longer sleep with you, the first solid meals mark the end of baby food, etc. This can be difficult to live with, especially when it is difficult to enjoy the present moment.
The specialist indicates that he has also noticed through discussion groups that he leads differences in feelings between women and men: the mother has an almost animal relationship with the toddler she has carried and wants to protect, while the father sometimes needs more time to establish a bond with his child (even if some fathers connect with the baby from birth!). For mothers who have breastfed, the end of breastfeeding can thus be experienced as a first separation but
mom blog helps you how to control feeling. just like leaving the child in the crèche or with a childminder when returning to work at the end of maternity leave.
The need for increased protection in the face of life's difficulties
Parenthood is done with the child, which explains why the history of the couple but also that of the child impact the feelings of the parents. When a couple has had difficulty conceiving, the child is born prematurely, suffers from an illness or the couple separates, the parents often react by overprotecting the child. Watching him grow can then give them a feeling of helplessness, since they cannot protect him from everything indefinitely. And it's a vicious circle: the more we overprotect the child, the more difficult it is to see him grow up.
The child grows up and questions the role of the parent
Another phenomenon to be taken into account, underlined by Pascal Anger, is the fact that the acquisition of the child's autonomy is done to the detriment of the "omnipotence" of the parent: from the first "no" the he child asserts himself… and this is only the beginning! By gaining independence, he questions the word of the parent, who can find himself destabilized, especially since each child evolves at his own pace. The "job" of parent then becomes more difficult and we can fear that it will be always more complicated, even wondering if we will succeed. Finally, seeing your child grow up is also seeing yourself growing old and unconsciously telling yourself that you are going to die one day.