NEW YORK, NY.- Last week, Emily Ratajkowski shared on Instagram that she had created a pair of divorce rings by remodeling the pear- and princess-cut diamonds from her toi-et-moi engagement ring into two separate rings. Alison Chemla, a New York-based jeweler and creative director at Alison Lou (who also crafted Ratajkowskis original engagement ring), created the new pieces. The post has since received more than 1 million likes.
Divorce rings are having a moment, said Sasha Nixon, a New York-based jewelry curator and historian. The trend, one embraced primarily by women, is about breathing life into ones wedding rings after a split.
Ratajkowski, whose divorce from movie producer Sebastian Bear-McClard became final in 2023, hopes to shift the negative assumptions about ending a marriage.
I would like there to be a perspective that allows space for the fact that leaving a relationship is often a remarkable and brave act, she said. I really would like to see single moms or women starting over for the first time in a terrifying way find some kind of solace in the idea that theyre not failures for leaving.
With that in mind, Chemla said she wanted to create rings that Ratajkowski would feel proud of and that would make a statement, describing the process as collaborative.
I wish we honored other major life events with the same respect we reserve for marriage, said Lauren Boc, a North Carolina-based jeweler and founder of Hera Fine Jewelry. Leaving a relationship that doesnt serve you takes courage, and thats something worth commemorating.
For her summer wedding, Boc, 35, had designed a right-hand ring for the ceremony engraved with damn, shes the one, a lyric from Lizzos song Soulmate, on the inside. I liked having a reminder that I couldnt be a good partner if I didnt have a good relationship with myself, she said.
After her husband asked for a divorce in October 2023, she decided to make a new ring: an 18-karat yellow-gold signet-inspired ring with a four-carat Asscher-cut lab-grown diamond that would center my relationship with myself, Boc said. She added that requests for post-breakup jewelry have increased 300% since she started posting about her own divorce ring on social media last fall. Custom ring settings start at $2,600.
When Katherine Pokornys divorce became final in the summer of 2021, she had already been in touch with Ali Galgano of Serpentine Jewels about transforming her engagement ring into a divorce ring. Repurposing jewelry from past boyfriends and lovers has rarely been public-facing, but we are seeing a shift in which women are reclaiming their power everywhere, said Galgano, a jeweler based in Greenwich, Connecticut. I saw a significant increase in this last year, where we did triple the number of divorce-ring resets as in 2022. Before 2020, this concept wasnt even on our clients radars.
Pokorny, a public relations consultant in Aspen, Colorado, wanted a toi-et-moi style, pairing an emerald stone with her original emerald-cut diamond. This project gave new meaning to the term retail therapy, joked Pokorny, who also marked her separation by buying a 1991 Mitsubishi Montero, a car she had always wanted but that her ex-husband had deemed unsafe. The diamond represents a 10-year period in my life, and the emerald, my birthstone, is a reminder that Im capable of saving myself.
Historically, divorce rings were mournful jewels, said Rachel Church, an author and the former jewelry curator at the Victoria & Albert museum in London. The style was meant to send a social signal, letting people know not to inquire about your husband or to show that you werent an unmarried mother, she added. But modern iterations lack any hint of mourning, said Church. There isnt the same need to identify yourself as divorced in that way.
Stephanie Gottlieb, a New York-based jewelry designer, explained that the meaning of a divorce ring today depends on how the marriage in question ended. For some, the new ring is an act of rebellion, while, for others, it honors the old and new all at once, she said, adding that designing divorce rings has become a consistent part of her business. For one client, she created a divorce ring with black diamonds because it felt like the antithesis of a bridal piece. For another, Gottlieb used the clients birthstone to symbolize a gift to self. In others, Gottlieb has incorporated a clients childs birthstone as a nod to the family life shes built. A simple ring reset starts at about $3,000.
To make divorce rings less engagementlike, Judith Hoetker, 50, head goldsmith at Reinstein Ross, recommends changing the ring completely: playing with the proportions of the ring band, adding more stones to the ring to take the emphasis off the original diamond, swapping the finger or hand on which the ring is worn (some say a middle finger is fitting), incorporating color or choosing a new style. Hoetker has seen a 25% increase in divorce rings between 2023 and this year. Redesigned wedding bands start at $1,000, while engagement rings start at $5,000.
Madison Snider, 31, founder and CEO of Fewer Finer, a jewelry brand, restyled a clients classic solitaire diamond ring into an evil eye-shaped signet ring, with the diamond in its center, to mark the clients divorce. Inside the ring, Snider engraved the word badass, which she said is how the client felt after the transformation.
Breaking the association from the original ring is important, said Rachel Boston, a London-based jeweler. Turning it into a completely different type of jewelry is a great way to do this. Emily Ratajkowskis original toi-et-moi ring was hugely popular, and these new rings will no doubt be equally influential.
This article originally appeared in
The New York Times.