Your wedding party is much more than a group of friends wearing matching attires; they will support you through the entire process of wedding planning and during the most important day of your life. Picking the right people to play that part should be taken seriously. If you are unsure about who to include in your wedding party, we have the best advice for you.
Consider family.
Family is forever, and many times we focus on other circles before looking into siblings, siblings-in-law, and other close family members. Start with your family, and then add friends. It might be easy if your best friend happens to be your sister and look into your in-laws. If your future husband has a sister, it could be a great way to start a long-lasting friendship.
The same goes for the groom; while they tend to keep it simple with close friends, it is important that they include siblings-in-law too. And remember to keep the numbers equal, to match couples. Above all, do what your heart tells you is best. It is not a rule to include family, but it is a nice gesture.
Be certain before asking.
Once you receive your engagement ring, it is time to share the news with everyone, and you might feel tempted to ask right there your best friend to be your maid of honor, but we must recommend you think about your decision before. You will probably make that decision at the end of the day, but you must consider other factors.
Once you pop the question, there is no way back; give yourself some time to think about the size of your wedding, the style you prefer, and the approach you want regarding the wedding party. For example, if you plan an intimate wedding, a small wedding party will suit you best. And for a larger wedding, you must consider how everyone will get along before asking.
Your wedding party attendants should be responsible.
Honor attendants have important responsibilities; you will rely on them to help you with many tasks during the planning process. For example, your maid of honor could help you with
wedding rentals, finding the right vendors, gathering information, and helping you find
wedding decorations for rent.
When the big day arrives, your wedding party must show up on time for your ceremony, and your honor attendants should safely keep your rings and other important items. While it is perfectly understandable that you should not leave out your best friend or sister just because she is not the most reliable person, just make sure you add someone to your wedding party who is trustable and responsible.
Set realistic expectations.
Wedding party duties are many, but remember that it is your wedding, and while they are your support system, you should not treat them as your wedding planners. Once you have an idea about who to ask, think how much time they have on their hands; if they are busy individuals and you need lots of help, perhaps it is not such a great idea to include them.
Delegate some tasks but do not overwhelm your wedding party, and remember to include fun activities too. For example, a girls spa night, where you can talk about the style you are looking for or any doubts that are bugging you. Any wedding-related activity can be turned into a fun gathering if you add some music and appetizers, like DIY wedding favors or personalizing place cards.
Whatever approach you choose to take on this matter, always remember to communicate your expectations to your wedding party. Some brides only need for their bridesmaids to wear what they choose and show up on time to the ceremony. Other brides have bigger expectations and need for them to be part of every stage of the process. Let everyone know what you need.
Keep budget in mind.
Being part of the wedding party is not easy, and every bridesmaid and groomsman knows it comes with responsibilities. Perhaps you will pay for accommodation and other details, but they still need to buy an attire, gifts, and bachelorette or bachelor parties. When you choose to ask someone, if you know that person is going thru a financial bump, try to talk with them before making it official.
There are many other ways to make someone part of your wedding without the compromise of being at the wedding party. For example, you can include your friend as part of your ceremony, reading, or handing out programs. Giving a toast might also be super special.
Consider everyone's feelings.
Building a wedding party is no easy task; you must think about how they all get along, and the larger the group, the bigger the chances of drama. If you have no time to deal with such trouble, keep your wedding party small, one or two attendants and that is all. And when you expand that number, make sure you are not leaving anyone important out.
There are no written rules.
While we provide you with useful advice to select your wedding party, remember that the final decision is yours. If you want to have one or twelve bridesmaids, that is up to you, and if you want to leave out your family or in-laws because there is not a good relationship between you, that is fine too.
Whatever makes you feel comfortable and at peace, that is what you should do. Your wedding party must make you feel right and calm your nerves in moments of stress. Choose them wisely and enjoy your wedding planning process.